Why isn't my pain good enough? I have cried over not getting pregnant for over 4 years now but because someone else has a miscarriage I am supoose to suck it up and be grateful that hasn't ever happened to me. I get it, I guess. But why can't people just accept that this is painful for me and acknowedge that fact? I feel like every month I have a miscarriage. The miscarriage of a dream. Yet again I am not good enough to be a mother. Or even worthy enough to be pregnant much less a monther.
I suppose it is my own fault. How many times did I pray for a husband and tell God I would be ok with not ever having children as long I found a husband and didn't die alone?! All lies I know. I just need to know what it is that I did to be so unworthy of a child?
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