Failed again...

Well, we didn't succeed at making a baby this month either. I feel like a defective human. All I want is one child, not much you would think but wrong when you talk about me. i can't seem to do anything right. i get married as an old lady, i can't loose weight to save my life, and I am just plain worthless. Why can't my body do something right? Is my point for being to help everyone else and to never have what I want. i don't want to be a martyr- let someone else do that job. i just want a little family and be normal. That is all I have ever wanted and I have never been normal. Why should I start now? Really?!?!

And the year begins...

Another school has begun. It is quiet strange for me to start school without Mr. J. I will miss him as my principal but mostly I will miss him as my friend. Don't get me wrong, it will be nice to not be looked at as a snitch or a spy as I was with Art. People couldn't get past the fact that Art and I have and will always keep school and our friendship separate. Not that I didn't want to hear all the scoop and gossip about school but he didn't share. The new principal seems nice. I'll give her a chance.

Bart and I are now past our 3 month period of not being able to "try" to get pg. I need it to happen soon. I am trying to use to the idea that I might have to adopt. I am not opposed to adoption by any means- my mom was adopted at 2 years old. I just thought I would be able to have my own. So here is another beginning- a season of trying and praying and hoping all goes well.